I stopped counting the months after the one year mark. The 28th of every month no longer had its grip on my heart. I didn’t feel the need to count thirteen, fourteen, fifteen months…. But lately I’ve been thinking about Kris. Mexico was six months ago.…
I went to Mexico for the one year anniversary of Kris’s death. I had the idea over the summer and think it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made since Kris died. Being at home seemed like it would have been the worst thing for me. I would have taken the day off work and been miserable. Instead I went to an all-inclusive resort in Cabo for ten days and had the best time ever! My only purpose was to get tan. I didn’t leave the resort, didn’t care to explore Cabo. Just bring me drinks and let me sit by the pool in my J.Crew bikinis! I think it’s the first time I’ve been able to truly relax. Twelve of the best people went with me.
A lot happened from December 28th through January 28th. I went from a lot of stress to feeling very relaxed and peaceful.
On January 28th, the eleventh month mark, I flew to L.A. for an appointment with a qualified medical examiner. I did a day trip and it was the longest day ever. The woman on the flight next to me covered her entire body in perfume right when I sat down next to her, so much perfume I could taste it. It made me feel sick the entire day. I had to meet with the QME as part of the worker’s comp case.
January was better than December. I didn’t work very much last year, which is fine for last year. I honestly don’t think that I mentally could have handled working full time, but as a single adult, I need to work enough to support myself, which means I needed to get it together and work full time….