A lot happened from December 28th through January 28th. I went from a lot of stress to feeling very relaxed and peaceful.
On January 28th, the eleventh month mark, I flew to L.A. for an appointment with a qualified medical examiner. I did a day trip and it was the longest day ever. The woman on the flight next to me covered her entire body in perfume right when I sat down next to her, so much perfume I could taste it. It made me feel sick the entire day. I had to meet with the QME as part of the worker’s comp case.
January was better than December. I didn’t work very much last year, which is fine for last year. I honestly don’t think that I mentally could have handled working full time, but as a single adult, I need to work enough to support myself, which means I needed to get it together and work full time.
I think I was in panic mode the first part of January. I made up my mind that I needed to work more and was ridiculously stressed out until it happened. And then it happened, I got a different part time job and was able to pick up more hours at the hospital. I’ve always been working part-time at the hospital and after Kris died got a PRN job with a hospice and home health company. The hospice and home health job didn’t have enough or very consistent hours for me, which made life difficult. I like a set schedule and knowing how many hours I’m working. So now I have two part-time jobs that make for full-time work and my stress level has dropped significantly.
Money is a huge stressor, isn’t it? They say money doesn’t buy happiness, but I don’t think that’s true. Money is definitely a huge factor in happiness, it makes life easier. To quote Ariana Grande, “Whoever said money can’t solve your problems must not have had enough money to solve ’em”. I’m not saying I need millions but not feeling financially secure this last year, even after I got life insurance money, it was incredibly stressful. It’s also very difficult to go from two incomes to one. Kris made a lot of money, dietitians do not make what engineers make…..
I saw a psychic in January. The guy was booked six months out when I finally decided to make the appointment. I never thought I’d go see a psychic, but it was one of those things where several people suggested it, and finally, I was like, “What the hell, why not go see a psychic?”. So I did. I was skeptical and curious, had no idea what to expect. Wasn’t expecting much to be honest, but it was a really neat experience. It did bring me a sense of peace and calming. I’ve received mixed reactions from people when I tell them I saw a psychic. Some people think I’m crazy or just humor me and listen to me tell them about it, some people are genuinely interested in my experience. I think some people want to go see the psychic too and I say, “do it!” I wonder if modern day psychics would have been called prophets in ancient times?
I also did a tarot card reading last fall, again, just because, why not? The lady couldn’t read me, took three decks of tarot cards for her to get anything. I had a lot going on last fall. Would be interesting to see if she could get a better reading now….
And I decided to start dating in January. Dating in your 30s is much different than dating in your 20s. Dating apps weren’t a thing when I met Kris.