One Month

I can’t believe an entire month has passed since Kris died.  Four weeks, 28 days, 672 hours since I got the phone call from the U.S. Embassy.  Sometimes it feels like a lifetime ago and other times….it’s like it never even happened and I’m dreaming.  I’m still in a fog. How is this my story?

In the past month, I have: slept less, eaten less, drank more, sat on the couch more, watched more tv, lost more weight, exercised less, never been more tense, cleaned my house more, made more phone calls, sent more emails, spent more money, had more flowers in my house, had more food in my freezer, been hugged more, been touched by the kind words and generosity of people than I ever have in my life. 

When I was in college, I had to take a Lifestages class and learn about the different stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  Full disclosure, I didn’t remember all these off the top of my head and had to do a Google search. Honestly, I didn’t give grief much thought in college because it didn’t seem relevant. And the stages of grief are for terminally ill people and their families after they receive a fatal diagnosis. I don’t think they’re even applicable to a sudden, unexpected death.

But I keep thinking about the different ways I’m experiencing grief.  And I can tell you there is nothing like it. It comes and goes like Idaho weather. But it is always there. Every morning my thought process is, “Okay, I’m awake, is this real, yes it’s real, Kris is gone.”  Sometimes I get up right away and sometimes I stay in bed for an hour. This week I’ve noticed how much I miss my sweet, smart-ass husband. I’ve transitioned from feeling extreme sadness to experiencing extreme sadness and missing him.

I have the most amazing people in my life and am thankful for all the support I’ve received from family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers.

I thought I’d share the obituary I wrote for Kris:

Kristopher Adam Norbryhn, 33, of Boise, Idaho, unexpectedly passed away on February 28th, 2018 while on a work trip in Israel. Cause of death is unknown at this time. Kris was born on April 20th, 1984 in Nampa, ID to Kris and Judi Norbryhn. He was the fourth of five children. Kris is survived by his wife, Emily Norbryhn, parents, four siblings and their families. He graduated from Skyview High School in 2002 and attended Montana Tech in Butte, MT on a football scholarship. Kris graduated from college in 2006 with a degree in Electrical Engineering. After college Kris moved back to Boise and started working at Micron. He then went on to work for Aptina Imaging, Syntricity, PDF Solutions, and Optimal Plus. Kris met the love of his life, Emily, in 2010 and they married in Garden Valley, ID on September 14th, 2013. He loved spending time with family and friends, rafting, fly fishing, camping, hiking, traveling, cooking, eating, texting his friends constantly, CrossFit, dog-Maddie, and cats-Gilbert and Figs. Kris did an Ironman in 2009 and marathon in 2010. He traveled the world with Emily, friends, family, and for work – England, Ireland, Scotland, Iceland, Thailand, The Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Liechtenstein, Switzerland, Italy, Chile, Argentina, New Zealand, Japan, China, Singapore, Taiwan, Malaysia, Mexico, and Hawaii. Kris had a zeal for life and was one of the happiest people you would ever meet. He had a great sense of humor and 90% of what he said was complete BS. Kris lived with no regrets. His wife, family, and friends are truly devastated. He will be forever missed.